25 July 2013

sleeping to dream

i am a mess. how can everything seem fine one minute and then take a 360 degree turn the next. maybe i am not giving myself enough time and pushing myself too hard but i can't help but feel restless. i left home with the determination which i'm slowly losing grip of. everything here is so different & unfamiliar and that makes me miss home so much more than i already do. 

i miss the scent of my room the minute i open the door;
i miss waking up to dad's playlist in the early mornings;
i miss the sounds of my sisters laughing and being silly;
i miss the smell of mom's cooking in the kitchen;
i miss the company of close ones back home.

but most of all, i miss your presence. i miss spending time with you and hearing from you. i miss discovering the side of you i have yet to know. because this emptiness in my heart is all i can feel right now and only you can make me whole again. and i guess that's all i really need now; you. and i know..

that you still love me despite the ugliness of my heart;
that you still welcome me despite how far away i am;
that i belong to you no matter what others may say;
that you are with me in every step i take;
that you hold precious every tear i cry;
that you feel hurt when i feel hurt;
that you will never leave me;
that you will never fail me;
nor will you forsake me.

and that is all i need to know.

2 July 2013

bitter butter

like a fool, i waited for you,
when you were never mine to begin with.