life is a constant struggle. and so i kept telling myself to suck it up because that is just the way things are and it's either you pick yourself up and move on or keep wallowing in self pity. because life still goes on. i'm not sure exactly what i'm doing now and i'm not sure if i'll ever be sure of what i'm doing. but today, i'll take comfort in just being able to feel happy. because i've forgotten how to. i've forgotten how to live in the moment, to take one day at a time. it has been a long time since i've felt this happy; smiling for no particular reason, singing to the next song on my playlist as if no one can hear me, twirling in my nightgown pretending i'm a princess. oh how i miss being a child. i think it's sad that as we grow up, we put childish ways behind us and complicate things for ourselves. to laugh from the heart and cry when it hurts. to scream with excitement and sometimes hide from fear. to not know the meaning of pride and depend on close ones. to be vulnerable. to trust. to love. to live.