chronos

1 year

12 months

365 days

8, 760 hours

525, 600 minutes

31, 536, 000 seconds

;

it's really beginning to scare me how quickly times flies. this phrase has been said time and time again to the point where hearing or saying it doesn't even measure up to the meaning it is supposed to carry. i don't quite know how to explain how i feel about this. i really do wish time would slow down because then i'd have enough time to treasure every passing moment in my life; but i also wished time would pick up its pace so i won't have to feel so restless and unsettled all the time. it's so ironic how one's relationship with the people around them is in the hands of time. the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become. and i think it's really sad how true this is because there will be a point where you just cannot make time for the other party. it's not that you don't want to, you just can't. i guess there're just some things in life that you can't get a grip of; as much as you want to, as much as you'd like to. well, for me at least, i find that the amount of time i'm willing to spend with someone shows how important they are to me. but i'm running out of time as i count the days until i leave. i fear that there will not be enough time because there really isn't. 

there is also another thing about time which i'm afraid of; a person changes as time goes by. it's like time has this ability to allow people to adapt to their surroundings. slowly but surely. because if you can learn to live with someone, you can also learn to live without. i can't help but wonder if this is the work of greed; the way i'm feeling right now. greedy because i want the best of both worlds. greedy because i don't want things to change. greedy because i don't want to lose these friends who have become like family to me over the months, even years perhaps. sigh. but life goes on, and so i must. or rather, i need to. perhaps i need time to allow me to adapt. perhaps i need to allow time to help me adapt. it feels like i have to let go but i don't want to. it feels like i need to breathe but i refuse to. i don't know. i think i'm really, really tired for today. just penning down my flow of thoughts. 

..something always brings me back to you